Participating in gatherings and activities of “The Elders,” listening to the sharing and the storytelling, partaking in the ritual ceremony – are key aspects in helping one grow more comfortable in his decision to declare that he is an “Elder”. It is also valuable to one who is wondering what it is like to be an Elder. We create community when we come together. We are validated and seem to become better able to make sense of what is happening in our lives. And, by sharing our experiences, stories and wisdom, we bless ourselves and the generations to come. The latter years can be a time of remarkable growth, unfolding, emergence, and dynamism; a time of deepening wisdom and great influence. The individual who would be an Elder is learning and uncovering things about himself of which he never even dreamed!
Elders are authentic. It is because we are different that each of us is so unique and special. We need to learn how to no longer “remain silent”; to reap the harvest we have sown in our own lives, to get in touch with our own magnificence and to express our own style of wisdom.
An Elder celebrates (in a good way) what he has accomplished, rather than mourns what he did not get from life, or what he doesn't have. The process of life harvesting is a good way to discover how who we are today is connected to our past. We've all learned much and had much to offer. We can serve as solid living examples of how to lead a successful life. The educational model we hope to develop is how to get the wisdom, experience, perspective, know how, etc., out of each Elder, so that it can effectively benefit not only that individual but, through him, the community at large.
Another mark of being an Elder is the ability to forgive -- to finally embrace all the good things I have received and stop blaming and condemning my parents or society for what they did or did not do.
If one really wants to become an Elder, it is wise to have a guide or mentor. However, in the end, he must fashion his own Elderhood to fit who he is, authentically. That is what being an Elder is all about – even though the bits and pieces we learn from other Elders will be a great help.
This is the time when at least one “Elder Skills Training” would be useful. There is also value in sharing the BEST of what we have recognized in ourselves and others as effective Eldering. Examples of “Elder Skills” might include blessing, active listening, "being with" in silence, the value of mentoring and being mentored, and story-telling.